Yes, this is really Martin. Chuny, thanks for your explanation. I am not going to explain all my actions. This isn't the place for me to do that. As anyone following my on-line actions, either on my former blog, or on the forum that I operate can see, I have not discussed my relationship with Zhifang online. I have not brought it to the public forum for people to debate a one sided argument.
Martin,thank you for responding to us.We appreciate that very much.It has been an issue every body looking at.And Zhifang,who post this story here,has left everybody a mistery.
My letters were cold, I will admit that. But they were cold, because I felt that these would be the only words that were heard, and understood. However, that being said, you were also not being told the entire context of the letters. When I say words like "it is over", and I get replies saying that she will be returning to my home, I get a little frustrated. So were my words kind? No.
People all try to communicate with Zhifang,try to get a logical answer from her.But it seems she doesnt like to have logical talkings or maybe she has a problem in communicate with people.Because of this,people start to get anxious in this relationship,how well can she understand you and how well you can understand her.All people here are telling her how important it is to communicate and understand each other in a relationship because most of people here are married,people know what a relationship is like how a relationship works.
I wasn't comfortable with the attention my blog was getting. I had seen last week, that it was getting a lot of hits. I would have been more comfortable, but had made the mistake of posting pictures of my daughter on it. This is why I shut it down.
So to let you know a little, yes, I live near a very small town. There were no government funded English schools nearby. However, we did talk about her using online ESL sites to work on English. Did she do this? I don't know. Did she have friends? She didn't have many friends, but I had made it a mission, early upon her arrival, to meet new people. Right away, she met and became good friends with another local Chinese lady. They went on weekly trips together to the city.
[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']When Zhifang complain she could not go to school to learn English,people first felt sorry for her.But later when people know that she is a woman only know to complain,people started to doubt.So people find out the answer from your bloger,in your diary in fact,we see that you are helping her with her english and you glad for her english leval improvement.The same thing when Zhifang complain that she is restricted in seeing friends.People starts to feel annoying,because people dont know how honest she is when she talks here.
The most interesting topic that has come up on here a lot, and in emails from Zhifang, is the issue of my ex-wife. There seems to be confusion, that I hold feelings of love for my ex-wife. This is ridiculous! I have worked hard, to rebuild a friendship with the mother of my daughter. It is far less stressful to get along with my ex-wife, than to be an enemy. I am friends with her, a fact that Zhifang knew about before I had gone to China the first time. It was my ex-wife who gave me the push to go to China the very first time, when I was apprehensive about dating someone online. Why would I go to China, to get married, only to run back to my ex-wife? This makes no sense to me.
On my personal opinion,when you are in a relationship,no matter what problems you meet with your partner,there will be always two sides of the problems.It`s not wise that all you can do is to complain what the other one has did wrong to you.Before you start to complain about the other person,most importantly you should examine yourself first.When you truely have realy love towards that person,you will not be able to just say bad words about him or her.This also what people worry about Zhifang,before she goes back to this relationship or start another relationship,has she really understood what real love is,and how important it is in a relationship.
Zhifang need to choose a man carefully due to her limited ablity in comminicating,before she married,she should find out if that man she can communicate with or not,if that man will give her all she wants or not.If she inogres those things before getting married,but after,she starts push this man to satisfy her,it is just going to cause problems in a relationsip.We dont know the whole stroy,all we can do is to immagine and to guess base on our life experience.
And you while you choose her,you have responsibility to know well about her if she is really the one you are looking for or not.You have to know what she really wants and you can satisfy her and make her happy or not,if not then problems comes when you start to live together.And it hurts both you and the other.
It`s difficult for any woman to accept that you still have contact with ex lover,much less acceptable for a woman that has difficulty in communicating with you and understanding you.
It`s understandable that you still have contact with exwife,because you have a child.But exwife is not the majoy problem.It`s the problem between you two pepple in current relationship.No matter what if you two people are be able to talk to each other well and understanding each other well,exwife or ex husband is never a issue.
I agree that you and Zhifang`s problem is only between you two people.If zhifang can see this,no matter she wants to try to recover your relationship or she starts another relationship,it`s going to help her in the future.
楼上的....咱也来假惺惺的...
...有些人偏偏想要报复,他那么迫切的想和我分手,我就是不答应,我就是要拖延和折磨你,你等吧,等我想放弃,我便放弃,时间表在我手上!
...问楼主她是否有这种能力与智力咩???就她那丁点斤两的,人家美国鬼佬也不是只吃素的...
（建议先贴那张圣诞家居合照吧，你家那个光头擎天柱lg挺可爱的，呵呵。）
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