)boyfriend wants to have sex with his girlfriend,but ashamed of his small organ...decided to bring girlfriend in dark place,open his ziper and put penis in GF’s hand...GF:no thanks ,i don’t smoke!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ."
　　The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penisss and enlarge it."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

some days ago , when I walked in the small street in Shenzhen city , a hot girl flattering her eyes to me said hi,baby ,are you free, come on , make me say Ah with your dick, OK?
　　And I said,no problem, I would fuck you bottoms up and make you feel like flying in the heaven!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

three drunk friends made a bet whoever can make their wives scream the longest during sex win 1000.next day when they met.
　　first guy:I made love to my wife 2.5hours and she screaming for 1.5hours;
　　second guy:I licked my wife for 2hours and she was screaming whole time and even 1/2hour after I was done;
　　third guy:that’s nothing,I made love to my wife 10mins and I came twice,wipe my dick on the curtain and my wife still screming at me up to now!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Q:what is the strongest muscle?
　　 A:the tongue—it can raise a woman’s hips.
　　 Q:what is the lightest muscle?
　　 A:the penis—it can be raised by a tongue.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

an elephant asks the camel:why do you have your boobs on your back?
　　the camel answered:what a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face..

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A guy asks hooker how much?
　　she says: $50 on bed,$20 on sofa,$10 on grass.
　　he gave her $50.
　　she says:you’re a man of class.one time on bed?
　　guy said:no!five times on grass!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A little kid says to his mother, "Mommy, last night I saw you sitting on Daddy’s belly and jumping up and down. Why were you doing that?" She says "Oh, uh, I was just trying to squeeze the air out of Daddy’s belly." So the kid says, "I don’t know why, the neighbor lady’s just gonna blow him up again tomorrow."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

salesgirl:excuse me sir,you can not smoke here...
　　customer:but I bought this cigarettes from your store..
　　salesgirl:sir we also sell condoms,but it doesn’t mean you can fuck here.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

This guy has a girl friend named Wendy who finally convinces him to tatoo her name on his penis... well when it’s soft you can only see W Y .
　　
　　One night they go out and he goes to the restroom. He sees a tall black guy standing at the urinal next to him and notices a "W Y" tattoo on his penis too.
　　
　　He hesitates then asks the guy if his girlfriend’s name is Wendy too. The guy replies "No, why?"
　　
　　He explains that his girlfriend had him get "Wendy" tatooed on his penis and it too only shows W Y when it’s soft. Then he asks the guy... so what’s your tatoo say when it’s hard anyway?
　　
　　The guy replies "Welcome to Jamaica, have a
　　nice day!"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

new army captain inspected the soldiers in their barracks.he noticed a female horse.
　　　　Captain:what’s that horse for?
　　　　soldierur men use her if they feel an urge to have sex.
　　　　Captain:ah,it is ok.
　　　　(One night,the captain feel an urge,so the soldier brought the hurse to his tent.the captain fucked the hurse.after that,he saw the soldier smiling outside his tent)
　　　　captain:its so hard!..how do you do it?
　　　　soldier:we ride on the horse to the next town where the girl are.
　　　　Captain:son-of-a-bitch!!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
　　有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………
　　
　　Girl: Father, I have sinned.
　　女孩　神父　我有罪　
　　
　　Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
　　神父　孩子　你犯了什麽罪呢？
　　
　　Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."
　　女孩　昨天　我骂了某个男人一句　「你这个狗娘养的　」
　　
　　Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
　　神父　为什麽？他对你做了什麽吗？
　　
　　Girl: He touched my breast.
　　女孩　他……他摸我的胸部　
　　
　　Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
　　神父　你是说像这样子吗？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部）
　　
　　Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
　　女孩　（因为神父的举动而有一些害羞）嗯……是的
　　　
　　Preacher: That’s no reason to call him that.
　　神父　只是这样子的话你没有理由骂他啊　
　　
　　Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
　　女孩　但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉……
　　
　　Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
　　神父　你是说像这样子吗？（神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服）
　　
　　Girl: Yes, that’s what he did.
　　女孩　是的　是这样子没错　
　　
　　Preacher: That’s still no reason to call him that.
　　神父　可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他啊　
　　
　　Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
　　女孩　然後……他把他的……那个……放到我的……那个……里面……
　　
　　Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
　　神父　（奸笑貌）你是说像这样子吗？（神父和女孩就那个那个了）
　　
　　Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that’s what he did...
　　女孩　（数分钟後）喔……是的……就是这样子………
　　
　　Preacher: My dear girl, that’s still no reason to call him a...
　　神父　我亲爱的孩子　就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他「你这个………」
　　
　　Girl: But he had AIDS!!
　　女孩　但是他有 AIDS 呀!!
　　
　　Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
　　神父　那个狗娘养的!!!
　　　

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

　farmer bought a milking machine.tried it on his penis and had an orgasm but he can’t remove it.so he read the manual and fainted.it says:AUTO-RELEASE AFTER 1 LITER

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

what is a HYMEN?
　　answer:a sheet of flesh inside a woman’s vagina.its purpose is to greet entering penises…."Hi men!"..

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22 ) was having
　　trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,
　　"Boy what is your problem?"
　　He answers, "I’m too smart for the first-grade. My
　　sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she
　　is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
　　
　　Ms Neelam had enough. She took him to the principal’s
　　office.While the boy waited in the outer office, the
　　teacher explained to the principal what the situation
　　was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the
　　boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
　　questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
　　behave. She agreed. The boy was brought in and the
　　conditions were explained to him and he agreed to
　　take the test.
　　
　　Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
　　Boy.: "9".
　　Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
　　Boy.: "36".
　　And so it went with every question the principal
　　thought a third-grader should know.
　　The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her,
　　"I think he can go to third-grade."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of
　　my own questions. Can I ask him ?" Both the principal
　　and the boy agree.
　　Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
　　have only two of?
　　Boy, after a moment : "Legs."
　　
　　Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have
　　but I do not have?"
　　Boy: "Pockets."
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
　　hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish
　　liquid?
　　Boy: Coconut
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes
　　out soft and sticky? The principal’s eyes open really
　　wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was
　　taking charge.
　　Boy : Bubblegum
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman
　　does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The
　　principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
　　could stop the answer...
　　Boy : Shake hands
　　
　　Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some"Who am I sort of
　　questions, okay?
　　Boy : Yep.
　　
　　Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You
　　tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
　　Boy : Tent
　　
　　Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with
　　me when you’re bored. The best man always has me
　　first.
　　Boy : Wedding Ring
　　
　　Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not
　　well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
　　Boy : Nose
　　
　　Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
　　come with a quiver.
　　Boy : Arrow
　　
　　Ms Neelam:
　　What word starts with a ’F’ and ends in ’K’ that
　　means lot of heat and excitement?
　　Boy : Firetruck
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ’F’ and ends
　　in ’K’ & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
　　
　　Boy : Fork
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of;
　　it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope
　　doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife
　　after they’re married?
　　Boy : SURNAME
　　
　　Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but
　　has muscles, has lots of veins, keeps pumping, & is
　　responsible for making love?
　　Boy : HEART.
　　
　　The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said
　　to the teacher "Send this boy to University, I got the
　　last ten questions wrong myself!"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

penis says to his two balls,"I will take you to a party tonight."
　　the two balls replied,"you,bloody fucking liar,you always get inside and leave us outside"
　　

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Mrs:doc,how is my husband?
　　　　Dor:he’ll be ALL RIGHT!
　　　　Mrs:what?after that horrible accident?
　　　　Dor:yes,we cut off his LEFT arm and LEFT leg,so,all RIGHT now!!
　　
　　
　　ha?

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

speaker:who among you had experienced having sex with a Ghost?
　　(A farmer raised his hand)
　　speaker:really?how does it feel to have sex with a Ghost?
　　Farmer:shit!i thought goats!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

how will a gentleman say to his dinner date when he wants to pee urgently?
　　“excuse me,I have to shake hands with a friend of mine who hopes to meet you after dinner”

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

An Arab was interviewed at a U.S checkpoint.
　　Guard:your name please?
　　Arab:ABDUL AZIZ
　　G:sex?
　　A:6 times a week.
　　G:I mean,male or female?
　　A:doesn’t matter,sometimes even camel
　　G:holy cow!!
　　A:yes,cows and dogs too!
　　G:man,isn’t that hostile?
　　A:hostile,dogstyle any style!
　　Gh dear!!
　　A:deer?no deer!they run fast….

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Q:why are typhoons named after women?A:because when they come,they’re wet and wild;and when they go,they take your house and car with them!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

little girl:”mommy,I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut”
　　mommy:”you mean its small?”
　　little girl:no,its salty

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

old man:doctor,I’m 90 and my 18 years old wife is pregnant!doc:let me tell you a stoty about an old hunter who,instead of his gun,brought his umbrella to the jungle,met a bear,aimed his umbrella,pulled the trigger and the bear dropped dead..
　　old man:impossible!somebody else must have shot the bear..
　　doc:exactly!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

man:my wife needs a bra but I don’t know the size…
　　sales girl:don’t worry sir,touch my boobs and try 2 estimate.
　　manh..i forgot!!she needs panties too!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

’sex’ is like a restaurant,sometimes you get good service,….sometimes bad service,
　　….sometimes no service,
　　….and sometimes you have to be happy with….
　　
　　
　　
　　
　　”self service”

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

news!a 90years old man starts make love to his 85 years old wife.he started sucking the breast,after 10 seconds,he died.
　　autopsy report:cause of death,EXPIRED MILK!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

there are 70 ways to make a woman happy,one is shopping and the rest is 69.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

LITTLE GIRL: "Mom, what’s a Penis?"
　　MOM: "Be a good girl! If you grow up, you’ll get 1"
　　LITTLE GIRL: "what if I’m bad?"
　　MOM: "You’ll get MORE!"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

one day little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom about courting.flustered,she replied,”tonight go watch your sis when she comes home with her boyfriend.that’s courting.”
　　The next day,Johnny tells his mother what happened.”well,sis and her boyfriend came home last night ans sat on the couch.they started kissing and stuff and I think sis was getting sick because she kept making faces.her boyfriend must have thought so to,because he started feeling for her heartbeat like the doc.he wasn’t as good as the doc though,he missed an awful lot. That’s when the fever started.i know it was a fever because sis said she was really hot.then her boyfriend ripped off her blouse and bra,and I saw why he couldn’t get to her heart,there were these big bumps on her chest!he then rips off her skirt and undies and she has grown a lot of hair there,she should clean it more often.i guess her boyfriend thought so to because he started sucking there,licking using his fingers.then sis yelled out to God and upzipped her boyfriend’s pants.this big snake jumped out and sis started to try and bite it’s head off.she stopped trying and then it squirted all over the couch.then sis took off his pants and sat on the snake,I think they were trying to squish it. Sis started to bounce up and down on it.she said it was nearly as big as Daddy’s!suddenly,she stopped and said she wasn’t on anything,but her boyfriend said it was too late.they had both come.So,did I explain it right?”
　　His mom fainted.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

LAWYER:how many times were you raped by the accused?
　　GIRL:I was raped 3 times!
　　ACCUSED:liar!hey you,2 times only!
　　GIRL:why 2 times only?the one when I am on top is not counted?

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

judge:why did you kill your boyfriend?
　　Lady:he picked me up from school,took me to a bedroom,remove my uniform,laid me on the bed,spread my legs & then said…joke joke joke!!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Boss:let me fuck you,just 1 time,I’ll be quick,I’ll throw p1000 on the floor & before you bend &and pick it up,I’ll be done!
　　Girl likes the proposal&calls her boyfriend.
　　Boyfriendk but ask for p2000 & be very quick to pick up the money…
　　After 4 hours boyfriend calls &asks:”what happened?”
　　Girl:shit!it was all coins!!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in. "P....E....N....I....S.." His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: **** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Three Caves Test
　　>
　　>
　　>In the Amazon rain forest, three explorers were walking. One was Irish,
　　>another English, and the last American. Soon, they came across a tribe,
　　>and the leader of the tribe told them that if they wanted to pass
　　>through this territory, they had to pass the three caves test. The
　　>explorers agreed and asked what the three cave test was.
　　>
　　>The leader of the tribe took them to the caves, where he said, "Inside
　　>the first, there are three bottles of rum, each 100 years old and said
　　>to be toxic. You have to drink one each. In the second is a lion with a
　　>thorn in his foot. You must remove the thorn. In the third is a woman
　　>who has never been satisfied, and she must be satisfied."
　　>
　　>The three men were hesitant but could not back out, so the American went
　　>into the first cave, drank the bottle, and died soon afterward. The
　　>Englishman was second. He went into the first cave, drank the bottle,
　　>then went into the second cave. There was a lot of commotion and
　　>roaring. No one emerged from the cave.
　　>
　　>Lastly, the Irish man went into the first cave and drank the bottle. He
　　>went into the second cave. At first, there was a lot of commotion, and
　　>then there was a soft purring sound. Then he entered the last cave. Two
　　>minutes later, he came out puzzled and asked, "Where’s the thorn in the
　　>woman’s foot...?"
　　>

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex
　　>with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to
　　>bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
　　>
　　>When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn’t
　　>she want to have sex with her husband any more.
　　>
　　>"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take
　　>a cab to work. I don’t make much money and my husband doesn’t
　　>give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, ’So
　　>are you going to pay today or what?’ I always give him an ’or
　　>what’.
　　>That makes me late for work. I’m late, so the boss asks me, ’So
　　>are we going to dock your salary, or what?’ That’s another ’or
　　>what.’
　　>On the way home, I take the cab and again I don’t have any money
　　>so the cab driver asks me, ’So are you going to pay this time or
　　>what?’ And, again, I do an ’or what’.
　　>
　　>So you see, Doctor, when I get home I’m all tired out and I don’t
　　>want sex any more."
　　>
　　>The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to
　　>tell your husband or what?"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

in a sex seminar the speaker asked a woman”do you know what your husband is doing when you’re having an orgasm?”
　　woman:”of course.he is playing golf!”

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

a guy and a girl were having sex in the car.
　　Guy:if I had known you were still a virgin,I would have taken more time.
　　Girl:actually if I had known that you really had more time,I would have just taken off my panty hose.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

"....Mary,why do you bring your kitty to the classroom?"
　　"Um....My sister’s boyfriend said last night i would eat your pussy tomorrow~"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

in 1964 the first topless bar opened in san Francisco.the good news is the bar is still open.the bad news is same girls still work there.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Good Friends are like Underwears, they Cover you.
　　Better Friends are like Condoms,they Protect u.
　　BestFriends are like Viagra,they Keep you UP when you are DOWN.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

here is a husband and wife ,the live on a farm....and they are laying in bed....the husband rolls over and grabs the wife by the tits and says if you could get milk out of these we could get rid of the cows.....
　　
　　Then he grabs her by the pussy and says if you could get eggs out of this we could get rid of the chickens ...
　　
　　Then the wife grabs him by the cock and says if you could get this up ...I could get rid of your brother....

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Good Friends are like Underwears, they Cover you.
　　　　Better Friends are like Condoms,they Protect u.
　　　　BestFriends are like Viagra,they Keep you UP when you are DOWN.
　　
　　One more about Viagra............................
　　
　　 "We take good care of your grandfather," the nurse at the retirement home told the worried relatives. "Every evening we give him a glass of warm milk, and a Viagra, and he sleeps well all night."
　　 "Warm milk and Viagra? Why?"
　　
　　 "The warm milk helps him to fall asleep, and the vigra keeps him from rolling out of bed."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.this is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A guy attending a wedding asks the person sitting next to him, ’Hey, have you noticed how horrible-looking the bride is? Man, she’s ugly!’
　　
　　’You jackass. That’s my daughter you’re talking about!’ the person responds.
　　
　　’Oops! I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know you we’re the father.’
　　
　　’I’m not, you stupid idiot. I’m the mother!’

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A Frenchman was on trial for rape, standing in court, the judge says "tell me what happened". The frenchman says well....... she took off her shirt, I took off my shirt. She took off her pants, I took off my pants.
　　
　　The judge says, well that sounds like consent.
　　
　　The frenchman says, "Consent!" Your honor, I got cunt scent on my mustache, Cunt scent ona my fingers.....

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

do you know why bra makers measure cup size by “A B C D E F”?
　　A ——Almost flat,
　　B——Barely noticeable,
　　C——Comfortable,
　　D——Damn good,
　　E——Extremely big
　　F——Fake

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

A man walks into his doctor’s office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks, "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?" The man replies, "I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem. "A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat’s ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Top Joke in Northern Ireland
　　A doctor says to his patient, ’I have bad news and worse news’. ’Oh dear, what’s the bad news?’ asks the patient. The doctor replies, ’You only have 24 hours to live’. ’That’s terrible’, said the patient. ’How can the news possibly be worse?’ The doctor replies, ’I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday’.
　　
　　Top Joke in Scotland
　　I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
　　
　　Top joke in UK
　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.
　　
　　Top joke in USA
　　A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says:
　　"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man. The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."
　　
　　Top joke in Canada
　　When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
　　
　　THE WINNING JOKE
　　A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help.
　　First, let’s make sure he’s dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
　　

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Between the hole...............
　　
　　A woman out golfing was stung by a bee. Because the pain was so great she went back to the main building.
　　
　　A man who helped golfers with their postures came up to her and asked what happened. After telling she was stung by a bee he asked where did this happen? She replied between the first and second hole.
　　
　　He nodded and said to her: Your legs are too far apart when you golf.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

sexy deaf-mute went to see DR. so she can learn to speak:
　　DRk,put your panty down,then turn around(DR puts bird inside)
　　Sexy deaf-mute:AAaa
　　DRk,tomorrow we learn how to say letter B!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.
　　
　　"Does anyone know what this is?" She asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!"
　　
　　"Two of them?!" the teacher asked. "Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy’s teeth!"

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Two Cannibals, pa & s0n hunting for food,saw a pretty lady swimming.
　　S0N: Yes!we have something for lunch!
　　PA: No way! We take her home & eat your mam!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Men were born from between the legs of a woman yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs.WHY?because there’s no place like home.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

Gold Medalist
　　Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
　　
　　The first said, "I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."
　　
　　The second woman said, "My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."
　　
　　The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."
　　
　　She thought for a moment and said, "My husband’s like an 100 meter Olympic gold-medalist."
　　
　　"How so?"
　　
　　"He’s got his time down to under 10 seconds."

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

a lawyer confused about his math asked his secretary:if I give you &3M less 17%,how much would you take off?
　　secretary:everything sir!DRESS,BRA,PANTY-ALL THE WAY!

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

An old man goes into a bar and while hes drinking he notices a jar full of money. he asks the bartender wat is the jar full of money for and he says that I can,t tell you yet, you have to have few more drinks.
　　
　　After a few more drinks, he then asks the bartender again. The bartender then says that you have to do 3 tasks in order to win that jar of money. First task you have to do is drink a 10 pound bottle of beer. Then you have to go in the back a pull a tooth from a bull then the last task he has to is screw a old lady.
　　
　　After he drinks the bottle of beer. now hes really screwedup. then he goes in the back and the bartender hears all of these noises that the bull is making and then the old man comes in and says"where,s the old lady that needs her tooth pulled"......

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

突然发现,学英语并不累.里边很多双关语,很实用的.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

哈哈。

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

一只海象和一个美女一起被关进午餐饭盒里了,他们都喝醉了之后,两个人一起想干的事是什么?
答案:找 TIGHT SEAL.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

请简要形象地描述一下那个美好的场景.
--BALD IN BOAT.

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

挺好玩

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

收藏慢慢看。

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

mark

回复: "黄色"英文短信 集萃（慎入）

哈哈，搞笑，慢慢看